Cut the Friendship Shackles

Courtesy of
Courtesy of

It is very rare that you can find a great friendship in the times where betrayal, deceit, and selfishness rule the minds of the young and the restless. Many people that I talk to always tell me how they either don’t have many friends or just don’t call people their friend at all. Me, being the social person that I am …I have went through many types and many groups of friends. When I was younger I was pretty shy and I wasn’t appealing to the eye. I used to be the ass of everyone’s jokes and it used to make me feel worse that the people that I called my friends would always laugh and make me feel like I really wasn’t a friend but, a laughing matter.

 I had three groups of friends. Every time I would hang with a different group of friends I was called a traitor or, my friends wanted to fight me. I stuck to those people when I shouldn’t have, I should have cut the friendship shackles. As I got older things were quite the same the only things that changed were, the fact I was working , I spoke up for myself more,and some of my friends weren’t as immature anymore.So I thought.  I had most of the same friends as I grew up. I stopped hanging with some and was friends with them from a distance, some I was around almost every day. It wasn’t until high school that I learned the true value of a friendship, of course I had so many best friends when I was younger but I knew when I met my two current best friends that this is what a true friendship is supposed to be like. We do for each other, we are each other’s crutch when one of us are down, we are each other’s therapist and there are no cut cards to our friendship.

How do you know its time to let a friendship go? Usually you don’t know until someone who is looking in from the outside makes you come to the realization that you have been putting up with more than you deserve. It’s after that, that you start to analyze your friendships closely. You start to watch what you say around them but, you tend to pay attention more to their actions and their words. What I can advise about friendships is to NEVER hold anything back. Holding back feelings, emotions, or thoughts are always a formula for an argument to erupt. When it is time to cut the friendship shackles, everything about that friend will bother you. The way they talk, what they talk about, how they wear their hair and other things that are minute but, will seem as a big deal to you.

Now that I am an adult I know that it can be very unhealthy to have a big group of friends so I try to keep my friendship circle small. I find myself alone a lot which I have noticed isn’t such a bad things especially when you need time to get your thoughts together. I also believe with maturity it  is easier to end friendships when they need to be ended. When I was an adolescent I tended to care so much about keeping friends that I was keeping around the friends that actually were bringing me down. It is easier now to let go of people like never before. Of course friendships have ups and down and even fall outs but, when those factors become consistent that’s when I believe it’s time to let it go. When personal business becomes public that proves to you that  the friendship wasn’t built on trust in the first place,let it go. The saying goes “Friends, how many of us have them…” but in reality it’s “Friends, how many do we have.” What will you do when your friendship has reached its breaking point?